I'm Sorry I Couldn't Save You

I remember walking home that day with everything in my head, telling myself that was only a phase and that everything would get better, even not knowing what was waiting for me next. There were people looking and putting the fault on me like I wanted to feel this way, so I took a different path but in the distance, I was always there, my presence never left that space, and it will be always hard to forget everything, how things just crushed into me and after that, waking up never was so hard, like if death was before my eyes, and most of that times probably all I needed was a shoulder to cry on but never had that chance, could ask for help to my family or friends but I never was the type to call for attention for how much I could need it I would never ask for anything I would be just waiting for someone to notice, and I should have good to disguise it because nobody ever had a single clue about it, all this pain was getting bigger inside me and I never asked for help... years passed and tears kept falling. After all this time there's no way back, I just lost myself, so the question comes finally up, will I leave it behind and move up, or will I keep reliving these moments? Its been 5 Years and the pain in my heart just didn't fade away, and finding out that a psychological exam actually gives you depression results just makes my thoughts stronger and my heart weaker, seems this is the end and now I must seek the end to finally begin, because after all maybe If I had seeked the help I needed nothing would be like this maybe I wouldn't feel worthless...