sorry kiddo

dear the kid I once was, I’ve been wanting to say this for a while. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t become everything you thought I would be. things didn’t really go the way we imagined back then. it used to feel so simple, right? you believed in us so easily. that we’d make it, that we’d create, that somehow it would all work out. I tried to hold onto that for as long as I could. but somewhere along the way, I got lost a bit. I had to figure things out on my own, and honestly… I didn’t always know what I was doing. there were times I stayed quiet when I should’ve reached out, times I stopped showing up, even for the things we loved. not because I didn’t care, but because everything just felt… heavy. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for the dreams I couldn’t carry all the way. but I want you to know something. I didn’t forget you. you’re still here in everything I do. in the way I keep making things, in the nights I keep going even when no one’s there, in the small part of me that still believes this can work. I’m still trying, in my own way. it’s not perfect, and it’s probably not what you imagined, but it’s real. I still think about the life you wanted. a place to call home. a version of us that feels enough. maybe I’m not there yet. but I’m not done either. so… don’t give up on me just yet, okay? I’m still trying to become someone you’d understand. and I’m still carrying you with me.