Dear Santa,
I never had the guts to tell you this before now. But, you are an asshole. I was eight. It was the fourth year in a row you didn't show up. I thought it was my fault. That I was a bad kid. You made me rip up Benny, my stuffed donkey. Sure, he looked like a monster. He was dirty and creepy looking. But he was always there for me, unlike you. You bring sadness to millions of kids every year. You make them feel shameful and naughty. I hope your sleigh crashes into a chimney.
Fuck you Santa.
Sincerely,
Brandon Walsh
mightymoose
