August 26th - 12:33

Title: August 26th - 12:33 Medium: Super-8 film Aspect Ratio: 4:3 Resolution: 2880 x 2160 File Type: H.264 Codec / MP4. Comments: Another day in the Bay. Drove over from Berkeley to Mill Valley for a meeting with my therapist, Josh. We would always light up holy Frankincense and sip on a special blend of phoenix tears puer tea. Josh had helped me heal, create boundaries, embrace my shadow, and love my self while we worked together the last couple years. There comes a time in one's life where you need someone professional to talk to and where they can help you reflect on your choices, behaviors, patterns, and figure out all the shit you got yourself into so you can find a healthy path forward. For me, Josh helped me see my blind spots and create more boundaries and generate self love and self worth. Because we are worthy and the source of love comes from within. No one else can give it to you if you do not have it for yourself, from yourself. It takes time and it takes practice, but most importantly to be honest with yourself in recognizing patterns where you put other needs before your own. To people please to be loved and validated, when you can let go of the illusion of the other and just give that to yourself. Then the healing can begin. Are you doing things to be kind, to be loved, to "get" something or someones attention? These are the questions I would have to ask myself after becoming mindful that this was an issue I was facing. Especially when you attach your self worth to your work, or art. Things can become really tricky, really quickly. No one can teach you how to navigate these things until you walk the path to go through and learn these experiences. That is the beauty of life and what it means to be human. To be honest with yourself, to be kinder to yourself, to stop being so damn hard on yourself. How to balance the pain and pleasures? I don't know, and am still learning as I go. So, it helps to have someone you can talk to, to walk this path with. To talk about what you love, what you want, and what you are anxious of; Be vulnerable and honest to let go of all the fears and worries you cram deep down in the subconscious. You are not your thoughts, but the actions and choices you make. I've learned a lot about myself when working with Josh, even to the point where I needed to stop going to therapy! To try out this thing called life by myself and integrate all these lessons into action. Like a birdie taking flight for the first time from the nest. I am ready to do this again. It's funny, because its been a year since we last spoke at therapy and I am starting to feel like I need to talk to someone. As we move through the seasons we pick up new reasons to go. Parents get sick, friends get lost, work gets hard, and love feels soft... The talking cure is what keeps us sane. Most people die of loneliness than they do illness. It's important to check in on those you love, without a dollar in mind. Sometimes we just need a friend to call in to know that we are kept in mind. None of us humans can go through life alone, this is a planet filled with people of the same species in this animal kingdom of Earth. So here we are in Mill Valley under the large Red Wood trees, after an hour long session with my friend and therapist, Josh, and his Mother, Nancy. Whom I met on a San Pedro retreat in Peru many moons ago. We became friends first, then she became the Emperor in my Smoke and Mirrors. I asked if she could be my therapist, and thought that her son Josh would be a better fit. It is hard to find a therapist you can trust and confide in, which is why I said earlier there are stages in life that you can meet the right person or mentor along the way that can assist you to clear your mind, create healthier perspectives, make better choices. Yes, we may from time to time again fall victim to old patterns, but as long as you are aware of them while they are happening and are not blinded by fate, then you can choose your own destiny.