September 10th - 14:24

Title: September 10th - 14:24 Medium: Super-8 film Aspect Ratio: 4:3 Resolution: 2880 x 2160 File Type: H.264 Codec / MP4. Comments: Today was one of the most difficult days of the project while traveling through America. After Burning Man we had not been on the road as much as we were the first couple months in the USA. So to get back to the 8 hours on the road was difficult. We had a long drive from San Francisco to Portland Oregon. It was for some reason the toughest drive of the year. Could barely stay awake, had many body aches, and we kept on having to stop every hour or so to rest. Maybe all the driving finally caught up to us. Maybe because I was starting to get sick and my lungs couldn't breathe. We pushed on even though my asthma was kicking in deep, and yet I kept on smoking weed thinking it would help me. Man was I wrong! It must've been a bad batch of wax we smoked in LA. We carried on the drive to Crater Lake. One of the most beautiful place in America! A Volcano inside of a Volcano filled with water, a lake! Hence the name. This was the second time I visited. Normally you can drive around the entire rim and see all the perspectives of this natural wonder. This summer though half the park was blocked off due to construction. It was a huge disappointment but we still made the best of this visit. We found a beautiful view to see the volcano from above. Since we were heading to Portland I knew of a weed company called Resin Ranchers that I did a High Times article for back in the day and suggested we go visit them once we arrive in town. No more than a couple minutes later, I see a man with his wife and two dogs walking past wearing a Resin Ranchers t-shirt. I could not believe it! I ran up to the guy and was out of breath to ask if he was part of the team as we were just talking about them. He said, No, just a big fan of them. So, since I had his attention I asked him to be part of the art project we are working on. His wife and the dogs were happy to be involved. They stood and the dogs shook out in front of one of the most beautiful parks in this country. We smoked a joint and they headed to a trail as we started to head to our home. We got the shot! Even though I felt like such shit from my lungs being burnt. Still the art fueled me to be able to communicate and act normal. Kinda like adrenaline doing its job to keep me alive just a bit longer so we can make this art work. I nearly collapsed on the way to the car and could no longer breathe. My lungs were closing off airways and I was so scared and light headed we drove straight to the closest doctor. A few hours later we made it to a clinic and saw a doctor and almost passed out on the floor at the help desk. They picked me up and strapped a nebulizer to my face packed with breathing steroids so I can get some relief. Usually this would cure me, this time it barely did anything! It saved me though. I was sent down the hall to pick up a couple inhalers before we headed off to White Salmon in Washington to a home on a big hill. Once we got there I could not move. It was clear I had a lung infection and still could not breathe. I quit smoking weed after this. It was either life or death, and if it meant quitting smoking to stay alive. I had to give it up. I did not want to hurt my lungs anymore. It is time to heal the damage i've been doing all these years. Once we made it to our sanctuary I was laid out in hell. Wrapped in all the blankets in the house while naked, sick, and sweating with a hallucinatory fever gasping to forego the wheezy breathing in my weak airways. This was the scariest day of my life. Where the only thing you can do is meditate on each breathe. Pulling in as much sustenance as you can so you don't pass out and die. Illness is real, and it does not care about your timing. Even when working on a big project that can easily fail. Listen to your body when it cries for help. It knows what it needs. Rest and don't continue to stress. All day and night I was watching my friend's youtube channel called Coming Home. An episodic story of different people's near death experiences. It felt appropriate since I was having one of my own. And it gave me the strength I needed to get my health back on track. We were in paradise and I could not breathe to enjoy a single minute of it. Life is so precious and this was a giant wake up call for me. Today was the hardest day of the project. The long overwhelming drive, the sickness in my lungs, the vulnerable body with the restless mind, the fear of being near death. Thank you God for I am alive!