Title: September 11th - 13:19
Medium: Super-8 film
Aspect Ratio: 4:3
Resolution: 2880 x 2160
File Type: H.264 Codec / MP4.
Comments: Everytime I visit Portland I goto this vegan cafe called Harlow cafe and ever time I visit the man at the counter named, Horus, is always there spreading the best vibes possible to his customers. It is always a delight to see his smile and positive energy. We came for breakfast, and for healing juices as I was still a bit sick from the lung issues, but we really came to see if Horus was working and make his portrait! His presence is one of the most special people I remember and frequently visit when in town. It's funny, when you are in the art making flow it seems like the body responds in a way where it is healed or is not in pain. It is as if it shields you from the dis ease, at least for a short time. I was able to muster up the strength to go inside, order our juices, and make Horus's portrait. Art really does have the power to stop time and heal. It breathes life into the body and the moment. How to continue to find ourselves in that flow state and is it possible to achieve one that is constant? Or, do we need that sense in the balance of flow and resistance. When does the flow state end and awareness begin? It is easy to get lost in it, and I believe it is something that is worked into and can not be instantaneous. It is a process and a continuum up until rest. It exists somewhere in the middle of beginning and end of an act or action. From one end of the spectrum to the other. The middle way, is where the magic takes us away. Ethan drove us back home to white salmon, I started to have trouble breathing again. So we took it easy the rest of the day and I got back to bed trying to heal my lungs. Thankfully, today I could breathe and did not have to suffer as hard as I did yesterday. The message was clear. Be sober and stop smoking if you want to live a healthier and happier life. It is like letting go of a part of my immature self, A bandaid I took on early on in youth to mask the pain by inhaling the flames to allude my mind from the suffering all around me in my family in plain sight of my childhood. A soft escape, a cheap vacation from all my problems, the only way I knew how to cope and put on a fake smile with a clowns laughter. Synthetic joy ran through me just so I could wear the mask of strength when really all I wanted to do was cry and be weak in the depression. To be true to the emotions coming up than bottling them down drowning my sorrows with the lid of pot. As we grow, we learn. Let go of the easy way, and embrace the pain head on. To process and heal that shit before its too late. Before it sinks deep and you have to excavate, just to remember why you dug it down so long ago. Deal with that shit as it is happening. Yes, it will hurt at first. But then it clears and you'll never have to deal with it again. The more you hide away the stronger the shadow becomes. Expose that darkness to light so you can feel lighter as you fly through life when you enter that flow state we find ourselves in when creating the art you see now. The pain is ammunition to become stronger; Emotionally, physically, and spiritually!
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