February 9th - 17:55

Title: February 9th - 17:55 Medium: Super-8 film Aspect Ratio: 4:3 Resolution: 2880 x 2160 File Type: H.264 Codec / MP4. Comments: In 2016 I visited Cusco, Peru for the first time. It was the first country I visited outside of the USA. My roommate, his girlfriend, and I traveled together to this ancient city at the top of the Andes. We had no idea what we were doing or why, but we went. And it was the most precious adventure I ever had. During this time I was self-medicating with psychedelic mushrooms to heal from and make sense of my mother's passing 2 years prior. I had an unhealthy relationship coping with this plant that was supposed to help with depression, it became the poison to my unwell mind. Art was my therapy, but the medicine was my escape. Getting out of New York City and being somewhere else was the first door that opened me up to do something new, to become better; To be well. I saw a sign that said, San Pedro. It was a big cactus that was a healing plant and grown in Peru. I said to myself, I've always wanted to try mescaline... I read about it in the doors of perception by Aldous Huxley and Hunter S. Thompson psychedelic escapades and scientific research. I saw the sign and did not think much of it. At the time I thought I was going to try Ayahuasca because I was currently reading books like Daniel Pinchbeck's, Breaking Open The Head, and The Cosmic Serpent. Little did I know as I traversed up towards the Sun Gate Temple at Machu Picchu, Destiny had another message for me. A whisper of wind in my inner ear telling me as the sun shined down on my body through the mist and clouds of the ancient site. "Do not do Ayahuasca." What was that? It sent chills down my spine. The message was clear. It was not meant for me. I arrived at the sun gate and meditated for an hour. Then I opened my eyes and everything seemed different. It was time to go back to Cusco. I was waiting at the entrance for a while and realized Brian and his girlfriend must've headed back to the bus. It was getting late and I was running out of time. I ran down the steps from Machu Picchu to the town below. A hike that should've taken 2 hours, I ran with a couple of Chileans in 45 minutes to get back to where the busses were. I would've been stranded! Ironically, my bus had a popped tire so they could not go anywhere for a couple hours... Wow, thank you universe! We got back to Cusco later at night and I saw that sign again. I had signed up for a San Pedro ceremony for the morning. Again, little did I know, this ceremony would change my life forever. To open my heart and mind. To find inner peace, closure, and a vision forward. I sat in a circle with twelve strangers. We set our intentions and drank a goop of aloe vera juice, it was the most purest version of the plant medicine. It has a strong and bitter taste, but over the years it started to taste good as it courses through my veins. Becoming one with the plant. They call it the grandfather, he gently holds your hand and walks you through your journey. Metaphorically speaking. It is a pleasant trip. After 2 hours and a large cup I was stunned in the sun on the ground. A white light took me into the clouds of my consciousness. I heard a voice, it was my mother. It was pure love. It was the closure I needed to let go of the cope. We talked for hours, at least it felt like that in my head. Two voices communicating. A new way forward. A smile from ear to ear as I woke up from the daydream and gently touched the Earth with my feet and toes. I could see Gaia breathing. From the grass to the mountains. Everything is alive! How can we be so blind? It is a frequency we need to tune to, or tune back into. Year after year, I visit this special place at the Temple of the Moon. To detox and purify from all the shit we take in over the year. The pain, the emotions, the toxins, the stress. To recharge and let it go again. A retreat to nature, a time for thyself to think, or not. To become a better person, and integrate that experience. Processing the lessons and feelings that I may have overlooked. San Pedro is not only my guardian spirit, he is a guide to do good in the world. I pray to always do the right thing, in the eyes of God. In the heart of the Earth; A servant of God, an angel on Earth. The time after, I drank another cup in 2018. I met my twin sister who passed in the womb as my mother had 3 miscarriages, as I was a survivor in the middle of it. She went on to have ovarian cancer. It's all starting to make sense now. The shamans who administered the medicine were also Twins, and this was during the time I was finishing up Twin Flames. This time was another path to closure, not for my mother, but for my other half. A hole in my life I had always felt. A sort of "Phantom Twin Syndrome." This idea when you have a prenatal connection with someone before you are even born and that connection is severed as you are shot out into the world. Where did they go, other than the spirit world where they have your back in this realm. A hole in your heart, until you discover the truth. They were always with you and still are. You carry them as an ally in another world. Where the spirit meets the earth, and somewhere in between. A butterfly, was her name. It was time. To reconnect with my twin as I was finishing Twin Flames. It is all meant to be. Making art is like a spiritual path. The artist is the vehicle for the expression, even if we yet to understand the message. Like all great art, it takes time. Even time after to process what the artistic process was about and what it was all for. A natural trust of the intuition when creating. This was the power of San Pedro, this is my Huachuma shaman, Lorenzo. Again, as I come back in 2023. Not in a sense for healing, but a sense of belonging. A coming home. I Became part of this healer family in the hills of Cusco. With friends who became a family that I've grown with since I first stepped foot in her Garden of Eden. Lorenzo is still among us. A person who protects and holds space in the real world and spirit world. He knows and senses what you feel, or when you need help. A character who continues to show up in my artistic practice. A way to honor his gentle soul. For all the times he had my back with his condor feather and whisk of sage. Thank you Lorenzo, Thank you San Pedro. Forever, I am GRATEFUL.