Big Pink House

The night, the knight, the thief, the beauty, the big pink house, wild animals and every star In the sky. I couldn't control my youthful self. A thief. Stole everything. I could not be stopped ~ No one would dare try. I was the wild animal on a high limb. It all happened there at the big pink house. At that mansion on the hill where I wreaked havoc. I did. I first laid my eyes on. A magnificent god like creature. A hallway of pink doorways behind each of them tales of Hollywood. This storm, this beautiful storm passed me in that hall. How she raged. Not a train wreck yet but soon to be one. I right then became smitten... The film, the job. Call it what you will. That which only a love triangle would be brought forward. An introduction to Hollywood a introduction into just not giving a fuck led me to the edge and dropped me. Falling falling falling for this exotic wildcat. Beauty. Job meant nothing. I had simply never been the beast of burden. I did not know that intelligence and beauty existed on such a level. A lesson in being a heavy load carried. Too stupid to even fathom what I was about to learn in lessons. Smack the ruler hits my hand hard. This little experience in life. I couldn't feel a thing. My introduction to the world. My new world. A bigger world than mine. God save me. Us. Every time I passed by the dog the cat the flamingo. Her, she, everyone of those animals. I was charged by a herd of horses. Deafening, pounding, she came at me my heart in my throat and this was only my top half. I felt run over. Trampled on. Knocked and dragged by this cowboys spurs straight into the big pink house. This was not a cookie jar. This was a woman. Fire alarms and everything. Each and every day Eleven years she told me. Oblivious to any conversations And truth be told I unfortunately couldn't have cared less. The other was blown out of the pink house and sent on his way. The Rocker, the Maestro, the handsome man. That dog’s tail was not between its legs. This dog’s tail was. A lifetime I had nothing to do with. Dare I even say such words. Dare I even include myself in a life so very far from mine. A ridiculous notion. An absolutely ridiculous notion. In fact this fever I had was completely absurd. Why? When was this supposed to happen. How could it happen? Who made this entry into my life's journal? Not me. I swear not me. This was a fire set for me to walk into. This was arsen. We burned it all down in the pink house on the hill. All others in our lives vanished. Western movie star and I share a big fat one. The magnificent two I laughed. A naked Python in the pink hall. I stood naked too. Shared my soup and bared our souls in a kitchen built for twenty. Wilburry's settle for the night. Including the poet baby blue. She was taken and so was I. Suddenly there were no others noticed. We held hands a bit too long. Eyes linger a bit too long. This was not a staged fight. This was an all out brawl. A drama that's for sure. I was that reckless child. She was hungry to feel vulnerable. I was the knight that night. I'll call her Beauty. My heart pooled around. She could have drowned in it. Might have, had i not reached in to save her. What a slow motion silent film fucking train wreck. Who would pick up the pieces. I remember watching from my balcony. Friends left the scene of the crime. I was the guilty party. Never mind party. Guilty circus. The big top. Big animals and small beasts The big ride. The big pink house. Coconut Grove way behind us yet again everything came rushing fast. Down the drive he went. Up came the most trepidatious time in my life. Eventually the iron gates of the big pink house would close. Only Hollywood knows those stories. They are locked in behind the pink doors and tall palms. And I, the thief made one of the greatest choices of my life. Hollywood was all around me. Faces I grew up with. Sang with. Sat in the dark with. Eyes on them while those colored lights bounced off my face. Or the revival house mercury of the black and white film helping the flickering on my face. I was meeting those whom made the big screen pop. The big pink house a parade and a palace of the time and many stars from long ago and far away. Right next to the sun, the moon, Jupiter and mars. They worked and played in Hollywood. As I write my stomach rolls. Timothy Leary leering from a drape swept hallway. I knocked, she opened up and we fell hard and fast. I remember only two words she repeated . She softly said slow down, slow down. Ha! Trains and planes, state to state, coast to coast country to country we never did slow down. Discovering new breeds in the wild. I left that film behind. Long gone. So did she. As if it was never shot. I'll speak for myself. I couldn't give a shit. There was a captain of that ship. I was the pirate who pillaged that ship. The captain would never mention the pirate name again. Pirate was a scoundrel. Parrot and all. More wrong done by me. Wasted celluloid and this boy couldn't have cared less. My selfishness, my arrogance. Clearly not of this earth. Not anymore. No one existed but us. Horizontal was rare those days. Hand and hand. Kiss to kiss. Lived and loved. Convinced music makers and hollywood shakers. I stuck around. As did she. We followed suit. We worked and played. Me barely an earthling. Barely touching the ground. Her, the clever beauty adored. Out in the world and driving fast in Cali. Dare I say more. That place LA, the devils lair indeed. Italy my blood of blood. In his home on the beach outside of Roma. The king of Italian cinema gifted me the slice with the coin in it. Fucking romantic. Beauty beat me with culture. Intellect beyond mine. I had become successful and did not even know it. I only felt like wasted space. I have always looked up to all shining stars but never had the reach to touch them, not really. I still can't. Stop dreadful ways. I could not be trusted. Felt caught in the trap I'd deliberately set for others. The makings of a real shit heal. I chewed a limb off to release myself. I did not get caught. Never get caught. A mantra for the weak minded. Bla bla. Another desperate act. My not so young wild ways. A toll for me to pay. The higher I floated the heavier I became. A succession of crashes and we killed ourselves in each and every accident. Each time we weathered it. Each time the dust settled. We had taken each other out. Missing limbs, memory loss the whole kit and caboodle, the whole shabang. The weight, the weight. A cross we could not bare. Trepidatious was our way. Until it was no more. The ups and downs with nose bleeds. Love making at such a height the air was scarce up there. Our love the highest tower. Our lust the lightning storm that struck it. The Frankenstein size freaks. Beauty held me in her palm as I grew heavy. Too heavy. Something happened then. A miracle. Delivered by the gods. This event it shoved me pushed me it spun me right around. It grabbed me by the ear and scolded me. I screamed one night right out to the ocean. The mist from the wind and waves sprayed me. Who are you gonna be? The thief of the night or the knight. When will I stop dying a thousand deaths. When will I take myself seriously. No one else will. Life wagged its finger at me, the wet dog. As if the ocean would answer back. I was asking myself the question. I still have no answer. Beauty gave us an addition to our lives. The greatest of all responsibilities and I don't know who i am or how to find me. My voice battled the wind off the ocean. Find yourself. Where the fuck are you. Beauty held me in her palm until I got too heavy. She let me go. I spun the lies that kept the story. I answered callings, I got the jobs. I wore myself too thin. I never stopped pretending. I was the actor after all. I did my work with better care. My failures and my three steps back ways would change me in that many decades. My piracy has long ended. Yet a bird still sits on my shoulder. The nostalgia of it all. This knight, this nite. I still visit the wild animals, the moon the sky and the stars. All the thieves that have taken my place. How their sacks of loot get heavy. The big pink house it's still on the hill. Yet all the stars have fallen. I think, how they all shined bright. The big pink house the keeper of the crime and that miracle that happened. The one I know who loves me. Who breaks my fragile heart. Knowing my life and my trek. love can come with only one condition. That I recognize her as… The nite daughter. The black pearl. All living things and the stars now sit at her feet. The night, the knight, the thief, the beauty, the big pink house, wild animals and every star In the sky. I couldn't control my youthful self. All said and done. Cinematic poetry by Vincent D’Onofrio and Laurence Fuller, Graphite Method, 2024 graphitemethod.xyz