Love Me Not

I'm scared, at this point is clear that I don't know or trust myself, I'm still finding all my emotions and trying to make peace with them but so far had already given up twice, and had hurt so many people through a process that should be mine and that's not fair for anyone, I'm tired of hurting people when I'm the only one messed up... This shouldn't be happening not to me, not to the ones around me, the journey has just started and I'm honestly afraid of my future, afraid to be no one or not being able to accomplish what I most want to and become a failure doing something that I don't appreciate making another weight on my shoulders that could possibly make me give up and leave everything behind. In every single year, I'm drowning in my tears again, I can't seem to forget everything that I'm afraid of, and that makes me so weak, how am I supposed to find my emotions and accept them all when only one of them have such impact on me? Fear is haunting me in ways that most people won't understand and that bothers me because I'm sure that I'm not alone on these thoughts and someone out there is facing the same or worst than me and people don't understand that in a way to help them, and this is one of the most motives I have to create and share my feelings so if any of these people see or read that, know that they're not alone. I don't know for how long I will be here or making art but hope you know that all my pain and thoughts are here transformed into art <3