Hate Me!

You can fucking hate me but I will always love you, even if you are past you were part of me and I can't let that go and for how strong your memories are to me I will not break or get defeated by you... You were responsible for most of the things that I regret or hate about me, but somehow you made me who I'm today, which should count for something. I will not thank you but I'm not letting you behind like I said before, doing that would be like deleting part of my knowledge and life experience, sometimes I feel that I'm losing myself but is by looking behind and seeing for how long I have been fighting that makes me stronger and able to keep going because after all I made and suffered so much for nothing? Can't let things push me back, others' success shouldn't be a thing to discourage me, but it's hard to focus when I'm doing my best and nothing good happens to me when others do the same or less and get their pump... Why does this happen to me? Why can't I just focus on my ride and be grateful for everything that has been happening to me? So much great stuff has blessed me but I still want more, everything feels like isn't enough and If I would die today I'm not satisfied because there's something missing something is missing and I don't know what is it, every day that goes it feels like I didn't have enough time for my own things and that I should do more, I hate me for feeling like this and somehow you were responsible for all this, you messed me up and now there's nothing you can do about it but that doesn't mean that is the right thing to leave you... I just don't wanna do this anymore I'm tired of faking that I'm doing great when inside I'm shattered