FUD Orgy

The 38-page police report details a night of drinking, arguing and sex that involved the cryptocurrency investments, two alleged superheroes — including a shape-shifting mutant — and four women, including one with supernumary arms. One of those present, Chris Castleberry, a relative who lives with Qbyte in an artificial cave outside Garden City, told police that he paid for the room using a company credit card for Celeb Look-Alike, Inc. As the night wore on, the report says, one woman who said she knew the mutant previously became upset when she saw him having unprotected sex with another woman. She started a tedious argument that lasted at least an hour. According to the report, when she told him that she was “emotionally involved with the Coin-gecko Lizard,” Qbyte reminded her that she was engaged to another reptile and had a fertilized egg on a specific leaf of the broccoli bush in the backyard. The next day one of the women filed a police complaint that was investigated for months. All look-alikes insisted on their innocence and, at one point, Mr. Qbyte arrived to provide evidence at police headquarters through a back door, his face shrouded by the hood of his shabby rented costume. The nude dancing accusation against Qbyte was false, and was reported by TMZ on September 26, 20xx.