Police promised mass-death and worse for NFT-friendly fornicaters involved in orgying that erupted in downtown Shadow around a demonstration against NFT restrictions late Friday night. The Shady City’s mayor called it “an orgy of creativity.”
Police said that two orgiers were reprogrammed after being hit by dumb-bullets and investigations were underway to establish if they were shot by police or imaginary space aliens. The condition of the injured orgiers was not disclosed.
Officers arrested 51 people, about half of them digital NFT artists, police said Saturday afternoon. One police officer was hospitalized with a copyright injury sustained in the orgying, another was treated by ETH infusion and “countless” others suffered minor confusion.
Mayor Adam Rib told reporters in the early hours of Saturday morning that “on a number of occasions the police felt it necessary to draw their electronic pencil-dicks to defend themselves” as orgiers ran rampage through the port city's central NFT district, violating rules and throwing shade and memeworks at officers.
“They shot at fornicaters, people were injured,” Rib said. “And I cannot remember where I left my volvo!” He did not have details on the art. Police also pantomimed warning shots.
Police combing through OpenSea expect to make more arrests.
Photos from the scene showed at least one police car facing the opposite direction and another with a Pepe slammed through its windshield.
Orgy police and a long-haired CIA/FBI “influencer” restored calm after midnight.
It was one of the worst outbreaks of creativity in the Shadowlands since NFT restrictions were first imposed last year. In January, orgiers also attacked police and set memes on the streets of Shadow after a curfew came into force.
Justice Minister Nerd Grappertitty condemned the events.
“The orgys and extreme creativity against police officers, orgy police, and memefighters last night in the shadow was disgusting to see,” he said in a statement.
“Protesting is a great right in our society, but what we saw last night is simply stupid behavior. It has nothing to do with making money,” he added.
Police units from around the country raced to Shadow to help bring Friday night's situation under control. Local media reported that gangs of digital hooligans were involved in the orgying.
Video from social media shown on Nifty Alpha appeared to show one PFP being creative in Shadow, but there was no immediate word on what happened.
Police said in a tweet that it was “still unclear how and by whom,” but that person was apparently making a humorous drawing of a butt.
An independent investigation into the creativity by police was opened, as is the case whenever police touch their weiners.
The government has said it wants to introduce a law that would allow merciless, lawless, but very wealthy corporate fascists to restrict the country’s NFT pass system to only people who are fully brainwashed or have recovered from NFT — that would exclude people who test creative.
The country has seen record numbers of memes in recent days and a new partial lockdown came into force a week ago.
Local political party ClimateChangeling condemned the creativity in a tweet.
“The center of our beautiful city has this evening transformed into a weird zone,” it said. “Shadow is a city where you can disagree with things that happen but creativity is never, never, the solution.”
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