Dichotomy of essence

It is necessary to integrate thoughts, desires and ways of seeing things. There is something different in the same house where the same pieces of furniture lie arranged in their respective directions, but the density of the air has changed. It no longer requires effort to go through it with fingers fully stretched and ajar. Wake up, I walk along the edge of the walls of the external world. With your eyes open, balancing so as not to fall completely on either side. I'm crying as I go I am sad and at the same time victorious. An effort that is not of this life is necessary to break the structures that have been inherited to me. I didn't ask for any of that. No one asked for any of this, so no one is guilty. I am simply responsible for the circles that I still cannot deface. Today I know that I love. Today I know that I do not want to love in the absurd way donated by a utopian society. Today I know that I do not want to embrace the figure of the feminine, I do not want to hate the masculine for the simple projection of the history that builds me. The conscience that drives me to continue is not the same that makes me spill my body through my eyes. Dichotomy of essence with being molded.